Him
I remember the first time I saw him, how my heart skipped a beat.
I remember when his skin first touched mine, it was the greatest touch I have ever felt.
I remember looking into his eyes that first moment and I saw my whole life before me.
I remember when I first held him and felt his heart beat, I thought mine would stop.
Never did I think one person could make me feel this way.
But he did ........Cavan John (Born ~ June 28, 2008)
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Kiersten you have captured the magnitude of emotion a new baby brings. I liked how you the reader might think this is about a boyfriend or husband until the final line. I especially liked your line "I saw my whole life before me" because I agree that children define your life in seismic ways. (You could change the tense to "seeing" to match your "looking" in the first part of the line.)
ReplyDeleteI also liked that you begin most lines with "I remember." You could consider putting a line break after "I remember" to further emphasize this repetition of phrase. Great job capturing the myriad of feelings a newborn brings.
Kiersten,
ReplyDeleteI love the simplicity of your poem. It was a sweet surprise for me at the end, as I assumed you were writing about your husband. I have just found out that I am pregnant and I so look forward to those same emotions! I like how you depict those feelings.
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ReplyDeleteHi Kiersten, I love your blog and that special person in your life is just too cute. I like the colors that you chose. I deleted my previous comments by mistake. I hope you get these. You speak from the heart. I know how wonderful a new baby is and you describe the feelings so perfectly. I have not been able to figure this blog thing out but I think I have it now. Please bare with me. What are you going to write about for week 5? I think that whatever you write about, you are off to a great start.
ReplyDeleteKiersten, I know that you are talking about your beautiful son in your poem. You have great descriptive skills. I really like the way you described him and lead us to believe that it could be an adult in your life and then give us the super conclusion at the end. I think you could write about him forever.
ReplyDeleteI could write about this little boy forever. I feel a bit guilty though because I have two great daughters as well. But, there is something about the bond between a mother and son that is so much different than the bond between me and my girls. Thanks for all of your comments and I think this poem is in the running for my week five project.
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